All posts by motherstucker

Welcome Otherstuckers!


Jen. T of Versailles KY says:  “I need TheMotherStucker’s help!  I didn’t realize how dirty my house was until I started trying to clean finger prints off everything.  MotherStucker, do you have an easy way to clean prints off doors, trim and baseboards?  Disposable wipes are not cutting it –  I’m starting to think it  would be easier just to paint again…”

Put the paintbrush away Jen!  Instead grab an old toothbrush and a clean rag.  This is no sweat!  Using any OxyClean type product powder (usually comes in a tub) make a warm water/OxyClean solution in the bottom of a bucket.  Saturate the toothbrush and attack the most stubborn fingerprints (hardly any elbow grease necessary).  Get the rag damp in the same solution and simply wipe the surface down.  Like new  – XOXOXO!

Garage Sale SELLING – “How To” Tuesday:


This weekend is the big garage sale at TheMotherStucker homestead.  Here are some tips to help you prepare to make a little extra $ (beach fund?) and not lose your mind MotherStuckers!

-Clean out that garage, basement, attic, spare room, or shed. A good rule-of-thumb is to get rid of anything you haven’t used in the last year.

-Ask friends & family members to join you. The more stuff you have, the more attractive you are to the garage-salers who drive by.

-Decide how many tables you will need and beg, borrow and steal any extras you might need from family, friends and neighbors. And don’t forget a table for checking out customers.

-If it’s broke or unrepairable, throw it out! If it’s dirty, wash it!

-Start collecting bags and boxes to pack merchandise in, along with newspaper for breakables. You’ll need plenty the day of your sale.

-Think like a shopper!  When pricing your merchandise, think of prices you would like to see if you were shopping at a garage sale. The lower the price, the faster it will sell, the more money you make and the less you will have to pack up at the end of your sale.

-Mark your prices large and clear on each tag with a medium line marker or pen.

-Make sure you have the following items ready for the day of the sale: note pad or paper for figuring and for placing price stickers on after sale, pens, calculator, money box or better yet, a fanny pack (the ONLY acceptable time to wear a fanny pack!) or carpenter’s apron (much better!).

-Decide if you want to accept personal checks before the first person asks you. (personally, I would only take them from people you really know.)

-Put up an “ALL SALES FINAL” sign.

-Save everything til the next sale, donate to charity or offer it all on FreeCycle!!!

Fresh Food Friday: Chive Capellini


Last summer I grew chives from seeds in the backyard garden.  When Spring 2013 (finally) arrived I was delighted to see the chive plants back in action for a new year!  What’s a MotherStucker to with so many yummy, fresh chives?  TGIF OtherStuckers!

Chive Capellini


1/3 cup fresh chives (so easy to grow!)

1 package of capellini (spaghetti or angelhair works too!)

4 cloves of garlic

2 tablespoons of butter

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 teaspoon of garlic powder

Grated Asiago cheese (to taste!)


First, cook capellini according to package.

While the pasta is cooking, peel and chop the garlic.

Then drain the pasta and cover to keep warm.

Next, heat the olive oil and butter in a large pot. Add garlic and garlic salt.  Cook for 2 minutes.

Then add the pasta back to the pot. Stir in the fresh chives.  Delish!

Mothers Day Treat from Shari’s Berries

sherisberriesaprilWhose Mom doesn’t act fruity or nutty on occasion?  I shudder to think of the way my daughters will describe their MotherStucker in their adult years… But what MOM wouldn’t love to receive this gorgeous and yummy treat for Mothers Day 2013 (May 12!)?  A healthy smorgasboard of treats with an incredible selection of dried fruits and snacks. Dried peaches (my favorite!), pears, plums and apricots perfectly compliment an array of protein rich snacks on pictured wood tray. Great for the health conscious Mom and/or non-chocolate fan.  Delicious and good for the soul!  Maybe Mom will share? Even more ideas for Mom here: Shari’s Berries site is easy to navigate and who doesn’t love discount coupons? (15% off order, free shipping on order of $49+, etc/expire 4/18/13.) Tell Shari the MotherStucker sent you! 

MotherStucker Disclosure: 

I received a gift code to shop Shari’s Berries and the opinions above are my own. 


LEGO® Kids Fest: (Part I of II)


LEGO® KidsFest is a three-day show filled with hands-on, interactive and educational activities for the whole family. Get creative in the construction zones, meet LEGO® Master Builders, help build Creation Nation, experience LEGO® Games, and see dozens of life-sized models made entirely from LEGO® bricks.


LEGO® KidsFest coming soon near you:

Louisville KY April 5 – 7

Houston TX May 17 – 19

Phoenix AZ July 12 – 14

San Jose CA August 30 – Sept 1

Portland OR October 11 – 13

Heartford CT December 6 – 8

MotherStucker will be in attending this April at LEGO® KidsFest!  Stay tuned for updates!

Bloggy Conference 2013 or BUST!

This MotherStucker Blogger often feels like a real urban legend (think BigFoot!) or like I’m living in a “Truman Show” world —  Are there other Bloggers REALLY out there? — Can we learn from one another and encourage each other? This social media investigation is my official entry to attend Bloggy Con 2013 as a sponsored Building Blog Bridges attendee: 

-Who?:  Mr. “MotherStucker” and I + our 2 darling daughters (OtherStuckers) have set our sights on Bloggy Con 2013!  Watch out Cedar Point Amusement Park and Breakers host hotel as we visit (invade?) in approx. 180 days….

-What?  Yes, Bloggy Con 2013 starts on Friday 13th – we aren’t scared!  I’m excited to soak up all the  social media information I can while making new contacts.  The fam is pre-planning their itinerary for maximum time at Planet Snoopy and thrill time on the GateKeeper.

-Where? Our 300 mile trek to Sandusky will take us through Cincinnati.  This is our “over the river and through the woods” territory which allows for a pit stop at Grandma’s house – Double Bonus!!

-When?  Bloggy Con’s 2013 agenda includes a kick off party, keynote speakers as well as break out sessions.  Friday Night Lights meets Saturday Night Special meets Sunday Best…

-Why? As a Building Blog Bridges sponsored Bloggy Con attendee, I will have my very first opportunity to meet other successful bloggers and learn strategies for continued improvement.  My MotherStucker blog serves as a financial fundraiser to charitable organizations such as BeLoved and The Appalachian Children’s Home  I look forward to doing my best for all involved! 

This post is an entry into the Building Blog Bridges giveaway I have entered for a chance to win one Bloggy Conference 2013 ticket.

White Hot Review: Personal Creations & Cherry Moon Farms

pcI’m looking ahead to “Peep Season” (a.k.a. Easter) & can’t wait to shop Personal Creations!  Check out these amazing personalized Easter Basket ideas: And yes, MotherStucker has coupon codes for your Easter gifts here:  (Free shipping on orders of $75 or more before 3/18/13).  Enjoy!  While I’m browsing I’m enjoying a healthy snackcherrymoonfarms attack!  I ordered “One Sweet Mix” from Personal Creations sister site, Cherry Moon Farms.  The fruit looks gorgeous enough to be a prop in the Snow White movie and tastes even better!  The salty/sweet snacks included were the perfect complement.  Navigating the Personal Creations and Cherry Moon Farms website is easy.  Check out all that is included in the “One Sweet Mix” box here plus coupon codes!  (20% off entire order before 3/18/13)

MotherStucker Maturity ? 5 Reasons Why I’m Feeling Old:

1.  I watch the Sunday Morning NewsMagazine each week and I LOVE it.

2.  What is the Harlem Shake?

3.  When did it become all about the beverages?  Coffee, water, wine, etc….

4.  Kids who were born in 1996 will graduate from high school this year.

5.  I catch myself acting like my Mother.  MotherStucker ;(


Katherine Greene-Owens is a native Kentuckian, who blogs with Bluegrass Threads (  Blogging and serving as a Writing Mentor and WordPress teacher for the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning, keeps this stay-at-home Mom-onista as busy as keeping up with her two-year-old son, Gabriel, and her husband, Andrew, a local architect.  Katherine’s friends and family lovingly call her “Martha Stewart” in honor of her love of all things related to entertaining, parties and cooking.

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MotherStucker:  How would you describe your “Mom” personal fashion style?

Katherine:  As a stay-at-home Mom of a two-year-old, my style has to be simple.  I love easy to put together, preppy, polished looks like a crisp colored shirt and a fun pop from colored denim.  Throw on a tailored blazer and a fun pair of ballet flats and I’m ready to hit the ground running—-to the playground, of course!

MotherStucker:  What is the most interesting job (besides being a Mom) that you’ve held (current or past)? Tell me about it!

Katherine:  Before I became a mom, I worked as the Office and Events Coordinator for the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning.  I adored my job and have loved having the privilege of continuing to be connected to the organization, as a writing mentor, instructor and Americorps VISTA Advisory Board member.  I can’t say enough nice things about their amazing staff!

MotherStucker:  Funny family vacation story – let me hear it!

Katherine:  This can’t possibly be funny unless you’re a parent, but I believe that every Mom has that one moment when they first understand what being a Mom actually means.  Mine came on our very first family vacation with our Son. Gabriel was 8 months old and we were daring (read: naive) enough to drive to Pensacola, FL to the beach in one day.  Compounding this questionable choice, our Son had developed an ear infection, which you’d never have known – he was an extremely happy baby! We were in the middle of Alabama when, of a sudden, he began to vomit uncontrollably in the car.  We screamed into the nearest rest stop we could find and I bravely “soloed” the clean-up duty in a tiny women’s bathroom stall.  We were both filthy!  I couldn’t believe that it was the first time that I was doing such a “mom” clean-up task on my own.  There were no grandparents to call for help, and my sweet husband was desperately trying to save the carseat—since we had another 3+ hours of travel to go.  To this day, I cannot believe that I mustered up the fortitude to handle that mess.  (I have a terrible time with smells!)  This incident has since become such a badge of honor.  From the time we re-loaded the car at that fateful Alabama rest stop, I could proudly proclaim that I had survived “Vomit-Gate.”

MotherStucker:  Where do you find your “Mom” inspiration? Who do you admire?

Katherine:  I am absolutely inspired by all of the amazing women that have been in my life.  My mom, though, truly stands alone, as a source of inspiration.  She was a wonderful mother to my brother and she has amiably passed on any of the things that learned during her parenting tenure, without being critical of anything that we are trying to work through with our son.  She patiently listens to me worry about all of the “first time mom” things, and reminds me not to sweat the small stuff.  She gently advises me that “it’s just a phase” or “typical for a two-year-old.”  She has guided me through every step of this amazing, exhilarating and terrifying process of parenthood.  She is a confidant and a true friend. 

MotherStucker:  What is your guilty pleasure?

Katherine:  I am an absolute sucker with a good bubble bath with any LUSH products!

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Who names a child PERSEPHONE?


It is unfortunate that every word of this post is true.  The intention for sharing the gory details with you MotherStuckers is to entertain (perhaps even make you giggle).  Still too fresh to be funny to me…

Hubby’s scheduled knee surgery began at Noon.  With my oldest child still at school for the day, my youngest (now 5) and I kissed Daddy and headed off to the hospital waiting room.  I carefully selected 2 seats furthest away from the gentleman talking loudly on his cell phone, the large family reunion and the red-nosed snot slinging gal with used tissues at her feet.

As mini-me and I settled in, the waiting room attendant yelled out, “Mr. Tracy – Do you have your wife’s teeth?”.  Apparently Mr. Tracy did, as he retrieved them from his pocket and handed them over (I mean teeth directly into hospital employee’s hand).  Shiver.

I am brought back to the present moment by the sound of a screaming child.  A grandmother is attempting to wrangle a pissed off 2-year-old through the door of the waiting room.  Yes, they are entering the waiting room.  For Joy.

As my daughter and I are sitting in close proximity to the kids area of the hospital waiting room, we are shortly joined by PERSEPHONE and grandma.  How do I know the screaming 2 year olds name is PERSEPHONE?  Because Meemaw keeps yelling it – over and over.

Persephone eventually calms the #$% down when she realizes she has a “friend” to play with in my mini-me.  My 5-year-old continues to mind her own business (like an angel) in the play house as Persphone approaches.  Thirty seconds of a steely kid-standoff follows and ends peacefully with some giggles from both.

Meanwhile, Meemaw has already informed me that she is PERSEPHONE’s grandma (thanks lady – I got that), that she is 53, that PERSEPHONE’S favorite song is B-I-N-G-O (yes she sang it) and her Daddy (yes Meemaw’s Daddy) has a pontoon boat.  Grandma is the best example of Bat Shit Crazy that I have encountered to date.

As I look for an escape strategy, the kids playhouse falls quiet.  I can barely make out a growling sound coming from Persephone.  My mini me is occupying the opposite corner of the playhouse and looks bewildered.  Meemaw jumps up and asks my daughter to leave the playhouse.  Meemaw explains to me that PERSEPHONE needs “privacy” to poop – and will growl to achieve solo status.

At this point I’ve mentally cashed out.  Mini-me and I decide to read a story.  Two stories.  On our third story we are nasally assaulted by the smell of fresh poo.  Meemaw is ignoring the presence of the restroom (complete with changing table) less than 20 feet away and instead is changing Persephone’s diaper in her lap 2 chairs away from us.  Without hesitation my daughter begins to giggle and shouts, “Awkward!” loud enough for all in the room to hear.  I’m not going to lie — I laughed – a lot.

Eventually the orthopedic surgeon entered the waiting room to tell me hubby’s surgery was a success.  She giddily explained the surgery details including the use of “Fetus Paste”.  For real.  My mind wanders to protect what little sanity I have left… “What kind of person names a child Persephone?  I don’t remember much after that.  Thankfully.

White Hot Review: Red Envelope

YUM – Right?  I ordered the full dozen sports berries from to prepare for the upcoming game day at MotherStucker headquarters.  Navigating the Red Envelope site was easy & I was even able to use coupon codes (40% off full dozen berries or $10 off total order – expire 2/20/13) found here:  The hand dipped berries arrived carefully & beautifully packaged & would make a great Valentines gift for any sports fan (hint!).  My OtherStuckers devoured our fresh, delicious sports berries & were cheering for more: Now I’m looking ahead to “wedding season” & can’t wait to shop Red Envelope for unique MotherStucker marriage gifts! Personalized cameo silhouette pillowcases?  Yes please!


Meet THE gal who broke the mold!  There has never been and will never be anyone quite like Courtney – I feel extremely fortunate to feature her on The MotherStucker.  This former NFL cheerleader and beauty queen is thankful for her 2nd amendment rights and set her 2013 New Year’s Resolution to make whatever is on the cover of Southern Living Magazine.  She loves God, her family, and the Kentucky Wildcats!  See what I mean?

MotherStucker:  I remember running into Courtney when she was 8 months pregnant at the gym.  It appeared that she had swallowed ½ a grapefruit – ubercute!  She always looks effortlessly well “put together”.  Courtney, how would you describe your “Mom” personal fashion style?

Courtney:  I think maintaining yourself is very important so my fashion goal as a mother is to make strangers say in disbelief, “Wait, you have a baby?!” I’ve always favored the “fancy” side of things and I adore getting dressed up. When I became a mother I was determined not to give into the new mom stereotype of untidy clothes, tangled hair, and no makeup. I still take pride in my appearance and live by the motto to “Do the best with what you’ve been given”.   And certainly there have been sleep deprived days where I would love to roll out of bed and just stay in sweat pants, but I try not to give into that (too often).


MotherStucker:  Last week while on Twitter (in sweatpants;) I read your tweets: 

1.  “The term  – business casual –  has been used like an Amsterdam whore and has lost all meaning to me.” 2.  “My new career goal is to eat a burger on a Hardee’s commercial.” 

 I laughed so loud that everyone in Starbucks turned and glared.  Kidding – I would never wear sweatpants to Starbucks.  I Starbucks like it is my job.  What is your day job?

Courtney:  I’m an orthopedic sales rep for an extremity company and I love it!  This lands me in a lot of operating rooms and surgeries. I think orthopedic surgery is fascinating. It is truly amazing what can be done to the body to improve a patient’s quality of life. My job can sometimes have extremely long (and unpredictable) hours, so balancing it with motherhood has been very difficult, but I feel so lucky to be in such a fun and competitive industry. I learn something new every day, and I’m always in a new place with new people. Plus there’s added benefit of getting to wear comfy scrubs quite often, although I do tend to “dress up” this look with colorful tennis shoes.

MotherStucker:  Extremity.  1 raised MotherStucker eyebrow.  Tempted to make my own funny tweet but I dare not.  Speaking of “HUMERUS”, any family vacation stories you would like to share?

Courtney:  Anytime we are on a long road trip I make sure to get everyone involved in a make shift “work out session”.  I crank up some tunes and do jabs and upper-cuts to burn a few calories on the road. This usually warrants strange looks from passing vehicles! But hey, fitness is important!

MotherStucker:  My guess is they are terrified you let go of the steering wheel?  I hope one of the “tunes” in the car is “I’m on a Boat”.  I knew I was a Courtney fan forever when she introduced me to “The Lonely Island” jam.  Courtney who inspires you?

Courtney:  I admire women who take the initiative to teach their children how to love others unconditionally, how to take personal responsibility for their lives, and who instill a strong sense of morality in their kids. I have been very blessed to have several women in my life who are amazing examples of this – my mother, grandmothers, even friends who are new moms like me! My heart swells with joy to see a mom who gives her child the tools necessary to become a productive, loving, wonderful member of society.  Insert the hackneyed “children are our future” pageant girl answer here….

MotherStucker:  (back from looking up what hackneyed means and grabbing a glass of chardonnay…) What is your guilty pleasure?

Courtney:  Krispy Kreme – without any shadow of a doubt.  I have a shameful history with these deep-fried pastries. When left alone with a dozen, I have been known to consume them all in a 24-hour period. I am not proud of this, so I try to limit myself to two boxes of Krispy Kreme a year.

MotherStucker:  12 doughnuts in a 24 period = 1 Krispy Kreme every 2 hours  or  24 doughnuts / 365 days per year = 0.066 doughnuts per day.  Nothing to be ashamed of!  Anything else you want to be sure readers should know….?

Courtney:  I was the tearful girl who was in the delivery room at 5 centimeters crying “I don’t want to be a mom! I don’t want things to change! I’m NOT going to like this!” Oh boy was I wrong! I absolutely, positively, unequivocally love being a Mother(Stucker;) and can’t believe I ever felt otherwise. This is how God works, he smacks us in the face with things that we think we don’t want or don’t need…only to find it’s what we were missing all along!

Thrifty Thursday:

ATTENTION MotherStucker & OtherStuckers: 

New subscribers to Green Kid Crafts will receive a set of Colour Blocks, stackable, square eco-crayons, FREE when you use the code BLOCKS at checkout ($16 value)! These handmade, recycled crayons are perfect for small hands and encourage creativity and exploration with their unique shape, vivid color and smooth texture (offer valid while supplies last). 

Order before February’s 3rd to receive the Ocean Discovery Box!  Explore the big blue sea as your child makes a Wooden Sailboat, Coral Reef Postcards, and Pin the Tale on the Whale game plus fun bonus activities (appropriate for ages 3 – 9).  Click the Green Kids Crafts logo to your right (directly beneath comments and Mailpix) to claim a Thrifty Thursday offer and get started!

Thrifty Thursday:

ATTENTION MotherStuckers & OtherStuckers: 

I’ve got the scoop on 2 great MailPix deals!

1.  50% OFF Valentine Photo Cards (now through 2/28/13).

2.  FREE Shipping & discount pricing on Canvas Prints.  8 x 10 only $20 & 16 x 20 only $40 (Promo Code – canvas20).

Click the MailPix link to your right (directly beneath comments and LimeCrime) to claim a Thrifty Thursday offer and get started!


This week MotherStucker sat down with THE GAL that lights up the room.  Despite having the most fantastic eyelashes (natural or unnatural) I’ve ever seen on a human, somehow Darbi Zuccato manages to keep her head on straight.  She is uses all her powers for good, yet still lives a life of passion and intrigue. She has adorned her life with her husband, Chris and her two daughters, Ryleigh and Kayla along with her career as a dental hygienist, writer, researcher and fashionista. Her eyelashes are legit too (HERS MotherStuckers).  Keep up if you can!

MotherStucker:  How would you describe your “Mom” personal fashion sense? 

Darbi Z:  My “Mom” personal fashion style is “classy chic”. I tend to wear items with classic beauty and a touch of sass. For example, a pair of skinny jeans, heels, a knit top (with some ruffles. I love ruffles!) and a simple necklace. Always a good pair of earrings. My “bling and foof” (jewelry and hair) depend on where I’m headed. If it’s to the children’s school or a function of that nature I will tone things down. It makes the other motherstuckers nervous if you look TOO amazing! HA! Now, if I’m out with the hubby on the weekend its BLING city.  Heels make me happy and a pair of jeans that accentuate my assets are essential in the wardrobe. Makeup is a bigger part of fashion than most give it credit for. Splurge on the basics. I promise! It’s a game changer. You can have a bad hair day but if your face is glowing and flawless, no one sees anything else. Can I add healthy teeth? A pristine smile that is brushed and flossed properly makes a world of difference.

MotherStucker:  I say let them be nervous girl!  What is the best job (besides being a Mom) that you’ve ever held?

Darbi Z:  The most interesting job I’ve ever held is the current one I hold as a dental hygienist. Working in the human mouth all day long is very, um, let’s say it takes a special (twisted) person to do this for a living. A day does not go by that I don’t have a SUPER weird, awkward or hilarious interaction with someone. People are different individuals when they walk in the doors of the dental office. I’ve even experienced this with my own friends. We are great friends in the real world but when they’re in my dental chair they say and do weird things they wouldn’t normally say and do. It just makes people different. Trust me on this one!

MotherStucker:  Sounds like there is more to that story! Speaking of funny, any family vacation stories you’d like to share?

Darbi Z:  We went to Yellowstone National Park for a family vacation and stopped at the river for a yummy lunch. Daddy was out in the river fly-fishing while the girls and I made a tent out of all the items we had in the car. We were just finishing up lunch when my husband started waving frantically from the water. When I looked in the direction he was pointing I noticed a herd of buffalo coming to graze in our area. If you’ve ever been to Yellowstone you see signs posted everywhere warning of the dangerous animals the seemingly docile buffalo can be. They didn’t seem to be moving as fast as they actually were, so I gathered all the chairs and food in a moderate hurry while my husband grabbed his fishing gear and our youngest child (who was toddling around). I told our oldest child to pack her things into her backpack get her shoes on and follow me to the car. I was back at the car before I noticed that my oldest daughter had not followed me. My husband had realized this and went back to pick her up. When I asked why she didn’t follow me like I had asked her my husband replied that she had thrown everything down and was screaming, “They’re gonna eat me!” when he came to her rescue. It is funny in hindsight because nobody was harmed but I can’t keep from thinking, “What kind of mother doesn’t hear her child screaming for his or her life?” I felt like a failure but my husband still assures me I am not and we all laugh about it to this day.

MotherStucker:  No harm no foul.  However, if you have a camping trip planned, I’m busy that weekend.  No seriously.  Moving on – What is your guilty pleasure?

Darbi Z:  I would dance my ass off all day every day if I could. I love to dance! I will sometimes go running and a song with a good beat will come on my earphones that will hit me so strong that, even though I know someone may be watching, I have to start moving and dancing to the beat. Yes, mid-run! I can’t help myself.

MotherStucker:  Watch out Jazzercise – Stuccato/Zuccato is the new fitness craze!  You GO GIRL!  Anything else you want to be sure readers should know?

Darbi Z:  “Mother Stuckers” YOU should know is that YOU are one in a million. There is no one like YOU so strive to be no one but YOU. Everyone has good days and bad days. No one is exempt from that. Keep your head up, defy your limits and humble yourself to learn something new each day.

*Darbi’s gorgeous pics by

MotherStucker’s Banana Experiment:

What to do with those ripe bananas?  My go-to banana bread recipe is getting old.  This Sunday morning In an effort to further secure my domestic goddess status I embarked on the 2013 Banana Experiment.  The plan:  WOW my other Stuckers with banana chips and banana pancakes.  Homemade banana chips sounds easy enough — think of your oven as a dehydrator — set on low heat 180 degrees.  All you need are bananas and a lemon.  Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (waxy side up) and place thinly sliced bananas on top.  Sprinkle the sliced bananas with lemon juice and bake for 2 hours.  My research explained that even if your bananas are mushy after baking for 2 hours, they should harden upon cooling.  I began having visions of my daughters packing these banana chips in healthy school lunches and noshing at afterschool playdates with friends.  Tragically, those daydreams weren’t rooted in reality as my attempt at banana chips were an EPIC fail.  I’m so grossed out at the outcome that I don’t ever want to try again.  Moving on. To be honest, the idea of banana pancakes makes me nervous as my 2012 pumpkin experiment resulted in the world’s best pumpkin pancakes ever.  See here:  Couple this with my recent banana chip disaster and I’m fearful of the Mother-Of-All culinary disasters. I decided to keep things simple for my next pancake attempt.  Gather 2 ripe bananas, 1 cup of milk, 2 cups of Bisquick and 3 eggs.  Combine the bananas and milk and mush, mush, mush.  Pour into the baking mix.  Add the eggs and beat the mixture until all the lumps disappear.  Cook as you would regular pancakes.  Makes approx 25 small pancakes.  Honestly,the total yield may be closer to 30 pancakes as I lost count in the frenzy of my family gobbling up my newest creation.  These are the yummiest pancakes I have ever eaten – MotherStucker’s Super Guarantee.  2013 Banana Experiment complete.  Enjoy!

Bourbonista Feature: The Girl with Glitter in Her Veins

From:  on 01/17/2013

It’s  Tete-a-Tete Thursday, beautiful people, which means we are going to have a little Bourbonista banter with another groovy gal from the blogosphere. This week’s guest is the charismatic Christy Stucker, former Mrs. Kentucky America (2009) and Mrs.U.S. of A Globe (2005); a passionate and educated Fashionista (Bachelor of Science in Fashion Merchandising);  Adventure Traveler;  wife & mother; and blogger on the new and improved The Mother Stucker.

The Bourbonista: Tell me about yourself in 50 words or less. At least one word must begin with the letter “X” and none can begin with the letter “S.”
Christy: Former beauty queen with a current Ron White meets Daniel Tosh narration at all times in my head. I’m the MotherStucker. Other nicknames include TT, Mom, Flash (as in warm, not naked), and X-tina (Christina) despite the issue of the t being redundant. X-ina leaves much to be desired.

The Bourbonista: From now on you will be TT Flashina to me, which makes the perfect circus name so, tell me, if you were a circus performer, what would you be and why?
Christy: The Girl with Glitter in Her Veins! Not to be confused with the girl who farts glitter – that is a different circus entirely.

The Bourbonista: I would be the woman with whiskey in her bloodstream, though I’m not sure why anyone would buy a ticket to see that when they just have to catch me after 6pm on any given night. I really need to find a marketable talent. Moving on, what would you do if you won the lottery?
Christy: That depends…$1000 (Scratch off lottery) – Last minute cruise and a suitcase full of new, brightly colored, tiny bikinis OR $100,000,000 (Powerball) – See above. Rinse. Repeat.

The Bourbonista: Forget the suitcase. If I had a body like yours, my bikinis would be so small that I could carry ten of them in a make-up bag. Envy aside, if you were on death row…don’t act like you don’t know who you killed to get there…what would be your last supper?
Christy: A pitcher of Margaritas on the rocks (with salt), chips, salsa and queso from a dive Mexican restaurant where you can order by number. #187 for instance. Betcha didn’t see that coming! He didn’t either…

The Bourbonista: No, guacamole? Come on, you gotta’ have guac. Now, let’s get serious, if you were to write a short “Thank You” letter to your future self for all the cool shit you’ve done twenty years from now, what would it say?

Future Me,

First, way to go on the aggressive anti-aging regimen you started way back. It worked.

Raising 2 daughters and a husband wasn’t an easy task but you made it seem effortless. The entire world assumes you have spent the last 20 years lovingly encouraging your family to their respective successes. We (I?) realize it was all accomplished through mad elbow grease and consistently threatening to lose your shit.

As you now know, your long awaited novel and subsequent book tour were made possible (not so much) by your God given talent and (definitely) by finally manipulating the right people(s) to be bitch (es).

Congratulations MotherStucker. You deserve it (and then some).

The Bourbonista: I’ll be your future bitch…exactly what does it entail? Last, but not least, if you were a booze, which booze would you be and who would you want to drink you?
Christy: Wine. Specifically, wine with a spout (I aim to please!) attractively packaged in cardboard — always fresh and ready for fun — Who wouldn’t want to drink me?

Thank you Bourbonista! 

NUTS for Neutrals MotherStuckers

This is the Pinterst Pin that started it all!  My best friend texted this pic to me 2 days ago and I’ve barely been able to think about anything since…. beige and grey TOGETHER?

So far I’ve pulled EVERY gray, beige and cream item from my closet including scarves, tops, dresses, pants, skirts, shoes, jewelry, belts, etc. and (com)piled them into a “grouping” that covers most of my MotherStucker master bedroom.  Mr. Mother Stucker arrived home from a business trip today and simply stated, “What’s up with your stuff hotstuff?”.  So yes, our room appears to be a mess — but over the next few days (maybe weeks), I’ll be “matching” up new (to me) neutral outfits — this isn’t my first rodeo.

Follow my progress at

Fat Tuesday 2013 (King Cake!)

Mardis Gras 2012 is Tuesday, February 12th, so plan some fun for family and friends!  Below is a little history and a simple way to make your own Kings Cakes – they’re a special way to share in the celebration.

King Cakes are a tradition that have  been enjoyed in New Orleans since the 1870s. As part of the celebration of Mardi Gras, it is traditional to bake an oval cake in honor of the three kings, hence the name King Cake. Mardi Gras begins on the twelfth day after Christmas which is also known as “Kings Day” and ends on Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday when Lent begins. King’s Day is the day the 3 kings visited the baby Jesus with their gifts of gold, frankincense & myrrh.


Everything about the King Cake represents this event and the Mardi Gras celebration.  The shape of a King Cake symbolizes the unity of faiths of the three Kings. Each cake is decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras colors: purple represents justice, green represents faith and gold represents power and a small plastic baby, symbolizing the baby Jesus, is baked into each cake. The person, whose slice of cake contains the baby, receives good luck and blessing and is responsible for bringing the King Cake to the next party or gathering.

SHORTY-CUT KING CAKE RECIPE: The traditional King Cake is made from twisted strands of cinnamon dough, topped with icing, and sprinkled with purple, green, and gold colored sugar. Here is an quick and simple take on the traditional recipe.  Make your own King Cake with this easy recipe I modified from


  • 1 can of cinnamon rolls, with icing
  • 3/4 cup of sugar, separated into 3 parts of 1/4 each food coloring
  • plastic baby (available at most party stores)


  • Separate the cinnamon rolls and roll them out by hand so that they look like hot dogs. Then attached them by pinching the ends together  into one long roll and shape into an oval by closing the ends together with another pinch. Place on a cookie sheet. Cook as directed.
  • While it is cooking, use food coloring to dye sugar. Make one part purple using blue and red, one part green, and one part gold using yellow.
  • When the cake is finished cooking, ice the top with the white icing.  Then sprinkle the different colors of sugars alternating as you go around the oval. Enjoy!!

<3 BeLoved MotherStuckers <3

This January, in recognition of Human Trafficking Awareness Month, MotherStucker wants to introduce you to BeLoved.  Together lets all work to educate and push the  movement to end modern slavery!

BeLoved is an organization dedicated to connecting and caring for ladies in the commercial sex industry.  Whether a woman enters the sex industry by choice or by force, fraud or coercion (as in the case of trafficking) overwhelming research indicates the following:
*60-90% of women in the sex industry were sexually abused as children
*The average age of entry into prostitution 12-14 YRS
*73% of women in prostitution have been raped more than five times
*More women are employed by the sex industry than any other time in history
*There 1.39 million victims of commercial sexual servitude worldwide.

Learn how you can help at and stay tuned for MotherStucker updates including the annual BeLoved Gala coming February 2013! 

Because I Said So:

A baby is the personification to the start of a New Year.  To celebrate the birth of 2013, I’m sharing terms used and inspired by my babies at MotherStucker Headquarters.

Carpool – Complicated system of transportation in which Dad is always nominated to drive the farthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most caffeine.

Chapturn – Sneakily skipping pages while reading a long book to a child.

Chicken Nuts – Happy Meal entrée my children ask for at every meal by name.  You’re welcome.

Chipfunk in the Drive thru – (I’m embarrassed at the amount of time for me to decipher this meaning.  The take-away message here follows): The chipmunk living in/around my driveway (as defined by the pre-schooler).  Who knew?

Clandesdine – To hide from a child while eating a cookie so they don’t ask for one.

Con Creep – Concrete as interpreted under age 5.  No joke.

Detaste – To harbor a deep hatred and disgust for food you have never tried.

Dintercourse – State of revulsion evoked when (heaven forbid) two different food items on a plate touch.

Dumbwaiter – One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Eradicrap – To purge the playroom of old toys when your kids aren’t around to protest.

Fecalarity – The comic force that causes a child to laugh herself to the floor at the mere mention of the word “poop.”

Feelabuster – To pat down your toddler before she leaves a play date at someone else’s house to make sure she isn’t stealing any toys.


Fullish – Too full to eat more carrots, yet fully prepared to consume an ice-cream sundae.  See Dumbwaiter above.

Garboflage: To hide a piece of your child’s artwork under other trash in the wastebasket so she doesn’t catch you throwing it away.

Hairricane – A girl’s knotty, messy hair and the ensuing tantrums that erupt when her mother tries to comb it out.

Invisibooboo – The site on a child’s body where you unnecessarily apply a bandage to appease him when hurt, even though no blood ever appears.

Peep Season – Teenager dubbed term for the weeks leading up to Easter’s marshmallowy goodness.

Rest Rumba – An indication to parents you have to use the bathroom by fidgeting, squirming, clutching and leg crossing.

Reptangle – Not a purple dinosaur shaped geometric figure!   A toddler boy’s attempt at “rectangle”.

Roverture – A child’s discussion of what kind of pet she would like after the current one dies.

SOUPermarket – A grocery that only sells soup (so I am told).  Are we there yet?

Total Bish – The gal who snagged my parking spot in front of Bonefish Grill.  The original (similar) term was stated by me and interpreted slightly differently by my youngest, thankfully.

Whatebber – First used by 5 year old kiddo as the term “whatever”.  Now adopted by the entire family and used often, especially by my pre-teen – sometimes followed with a sigh.

Wishjack – To blow out candles on another child’s birthday cake.

Word Picker – The bird that pecks at the bark on a tree, a.k.a. Woodpecker.  Now you know.

Closet SOS 2013

“I have nothing to wear!” ends today MotherStuckers!

Start your New Year’s closet organization project by removing EVERYTHING from your space.  NOTHING returns to the closet unless you absolutely <3 it.  Period.

Place your fav scented soaps and sachets in your closet for year round freshness.  This is THE time to make the space inviting:  Paint, wallpaper an accent wall, hang a sconce for extra light, be creative 😉  Odd hangers are the devil.  Purge your unmatchy hangers or purchase new matching hangers – you will be so glad you did!  Organize your clothing by type and color.  If you share your closet with another person, now is  a good time to let them know you have started to “work on” the closet.  You’re welcome.  Good lookin’ out.

Maintenance is a must!  Invite your best girlfriends over for a glass of champagne to toast your closet organizational accomplishments.  Then head out for a night on the town with all your *new*found fashions from your fresh closet MotherStucker!  XOXOXOXOXOXO


How to Wear an Infinity Scarf:

My best friend received an Infinity Scarf (Circle Scarf) for Christmas this year (that she didn’t ask for MotherStuckers!).  The colors weren’t her cup of tea but I’m extremely thankful she thought to offer it to me!  I <3 it!  Now, how to wear it?  I found these great suggestions at !  I welcome your suggestions too – be sure to leave a comment!  XOOXOXO